Today I attended the funeral of my grandmother, Mollie Hamilton, more well-known as the author M. M. Kaye, who died last Thursday aged 95, in Lavenham in Suffolk. I was asked by my mother to read part of Psalm 91 at the service, and I think it was one of the most stressful moments of my life; certainly the relief at having got through it successfully was enormous, and this from a supposedly experienced performer.

I would have maybe like to have said something about her, about how much of an extraordinary and fascinating person she was, about how when I would come home her tiny frame would grab me affectionately and seem to hold on for dear life, about how funny she was and how much she laughed, but the terrible thing is, as hard as I try, I can't seem to remember anything specific she said. Perhaps mobile phones have scrambled my brains, too many boozy nights in the pub drained the memories from my head. More likely I didn't realise that it would be important to have paid attention until it was too late.

It was a nice service though, with many distant relatives who haven't seen me since I knee-high to a grasshopper at the reception afterwards, and printed in the order of service was a poem that my grandmother had written in 1942 on a fishing trip in Morala in India with my grandfather, Goff Hamilton, that was touchingly appropriate:

Evening at Morala

Opal river and twilight falling. The scent of woodsmoke. A peacock calling.
At the edge of the evening the far snows glow topaz and apricot, amber and rose -
Ramparts of Heaven, all glorious with light, that will fade and be lost
As slow falls the night.

Out of the west the teal flighting. On creek and sandbar mallard alighting.
Shy from the shadows the nilgai fording the river shallows. Before dawning
They will return from the crops through the river to the far banks
Where the tall reeds quiver.

Along the horizon daylight failing. Beyond the weir the jackals wailing.
Across the plains and swift away the last gold gleam has followed day,
And dim in the dusk to the water's brink the wild boar, wary,
Come down to drink.

Pale overhead between the bars of night glimmer the first faint stars.
A young moon lifts in the quiet sky as homeward we return, my love and I.
Silent the river and folded each feather. Homeward we wend,
Happy. Together –

But at the back of the pamphlet was this simple, unattributed quote:

You can shed tears that she has gone.
Or you can smile because she has lived.

Despite her age, and the numerous near misses of recent years, her death must have affected me much more than I imagined: I couldn't look at that for the whole service.

Obituaries: Times, Washington Post, Independent, Telegraph, Guardian, New York Times, LA Times

Molly says:
Oh, James. I ordered the first volume of her autobiography just last Friday. I'm so sorry.
posted by Molly on 5 February, 2004
 

Margaret Rogers says:
James Thank you for this. I''ve shed tears that she has gone and I've smiled because she has lived. Her work - especially Shadow of the Moon and the three volumes of her autobiography - are so evocative and colourful. Her love for and knowledge of the vast and lovely land that is/was India shines through these books. An amazing lady.
posted by Margaret Rogers on 11 March, 2004
 

Mo Young says:
I was heartbroken to hear of your Grandmothers death last Januay. I have read all her books and perhaps my favourit is "Shadow of the Moon" I so wish they could make that into a film....what a fantastic story. However, it is the autobiographies that Mollie wrote that I love. In fact they have become to me rather like endearing friends. I can pick up one of those books and immediately be transported to such a gracious bygone age and feel that I am actually living in those faraway places. Mollie was a wonderful writer who brought immense joy to her millions of fans throughout the world. I am just so sad that there was no biography after Enchanted Evening.
posted by Mo Young on 2 June, 2004
 

Capt. Jack Williams says:
I would be a poor contestant to eulogise and offer up such worthy boquets that the world has already bestowed upon your late grandmother. Mollie Hamilton, the dear lady gave to this ancient mariner many hours of enjoyable reading while at sea and although it was a sad day she crossed the Bar, you are correct.....'we can smile because she has lived.
posted by Capt. Jack Williams on 3 June, 2004
 

Brigitte says:
Dear James.......how sad I was to find today the news that your grandmother has passed away. My grandaughter was named after Kairi in the book Far Pavillions. Many years later we found that it means over ripe melons. Kairi has grown to be a successful engineer and has also read Far Pavillions. Until today I never thought of looking to see if I could find information on Molly Kaye but after reading her autobiography I wondered and so here I am finding out late, that she is no longer here to write more but I am sure where ever she is she knows that I appreciate and love all of her words. Sincerely Brigitte
posted by Brigitte on 16 July, 2004
 

Melanie says:
Was just taking a break and wanted to post here
posted by Melanie on 9 August, 2004
 

says:
I do so love your grandmothers books especially her autobiographies. I would like to know if she has a website I could visit to see her pictures and photos of her and her books etc. I cant seem to find it. She is so sorely missed as I dont believe anyone can write with as much beauty of description and culture and joy of India as she did. She was a very happy person and loved India. Actually she loved everything about life I believe. Thanks Eileen Graham
posted by on 15 August, 2004
 

Green Card says:
This year, we will hire hundreds green card lottery of manufacturing staff during the usa visa last few months of the year. Every usa visa year we have a tough time finding dv2006
posted by Green Card on 2 September, 2004
 

Katherine Millar says:
Hi, I have read all about M.M.Kaye and am what you would call. ENCHANTED By all the work that she has put in to the books, i love reading all of them thankyou for the great experiance. Katherine Millar
posted by Katherine Millar on 27 October, 2004
 

says:
October is a little late to pass on condolences but due to family losses of our own the last couple of years have been a little bleak for us. James, I was so sorry to hear about Molly Kaye. Although I did not know her, my mother, a nurse, looked after Lady Cunningham near Maidstone for a while and she used to talk of your grandmother affectionately as "my good friend Molly Kaye". Lady Cunningham died herself a few years ago but I was always sorry I did not speak to her about India as she had such wonderful memories and stories (my father was born there in Roorkee). I also found the quote: "You can shed tears because she has gone or you can smile because she has lived" extremely helpful for us. The Far Pavillions remains one of my favourite books. Although I have never visited India it always makes me feel that I am there at that time. Thank you for those things and I wish you well. May the wonderful memories your grandmother left for you bring you comfort. God bless, Maggie
posted by on 27 October, 2004
 

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