punchlines

1. 'Because, Geoff... I'm Superman.'
2. 'Except we can’t have a family ever since we discovered that Angharad’s got a lesbian womb.'
3. 'A cheap day return to Brighton, please.'
4. 'Consequently I can only deliver the now famous words, "Blancmange! Blancmange! It's all blancmange! Come on in everyone, the blancmange is lovely!"'
5. Very Old Man: 'I play the young son on his way up to the Varsity.'
6. They are both naked.
7. 'Forget those suckers! We'll use a decoy.' Produces wooden duck.
8. 'The time has come for the truth: you’ve been working as an accountant for the Justice League of America.'
9. 'It’s personal from General Westmoreland, sir.' He pulls out a pie and sticks it in the General's face.
10. 'Sorry. We're from Dixons.'
11. 'Oh shit, Clive.' 'What?' 'The dog. It's Jamie Theakston.'
12. 'Bugger.'