Top-Ten-Tastic

Rory gets the ball rolling on FunnyHaHa again with a look at the top ten funniest films of the century. I'd like to know what happened to Love and Death, Annie Hall, Rushmore, Young Frankenstein, Ghostbusters, The Jerk, The Man With Two Brains, Addams Family Values, Jabberwocky, Bob Roberts and so on and so on. And how can anyone leave out Spinal Tap? Perhaps I should head on over there and get contributing. After I've done some work of course.
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29

It's my birthday and I'll send presents to other people with the same birthday as me if I want to.
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More colours at frownland

Frownland Yellow + Zeldman Orange = New Frowland. Like it.
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Apple goes mad

Flower Power and Blue Dalmation? Those aren't colours that anyone will want, surely?

Better specs, yes, but still not the upgrade everyone's been speculating about. When are we going to get the 15" LCD iMac?
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For god's sake don't get out there - it's a waste of time

Has anyone else found themselves constantly assailed by those getouthere.bt.com ads on Xfm until they had to have a look at the two pieces the people on the advert were talking about? I did, and I've discovered something: I judge work by the first ten or so lines. And by that criterion The Property Game (the first chapter of the novel one of the participants has written) is not bad at all, but The Gavvers, a sitcom about the police with some sort of post-modern ironic view of racism and brutality within the police force is just terrible. I urge you not to take a look.

Also, why would anyone upload anything to this site? Films and music, fine - people can download them and the reponse is immediate - but why would you be bothered to read a script or a chapter of a novel online? Extending online writing (as opposed to broken work like blogs and discussion forums) never works. And who on earth is looking at it? If you want to get your book published send it to an agent or publisher. If you want to get your sitcom made, send it to a producer like the rest of us. BT aren't a production company. It all seems like a lot of effort for nothing.
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Comedy = Truth + Time

...as I think Woody Allen once said. Recently there was truth, and since then there's been time. So here's comedy:

If we could shrink the earth's population to a village of precisely 100, then we would probably have special magical powers.
If they were to all stand shoulder to shoulder they could make a 'human fence'.
95 would support Manchester United, the other 5 would be too busy making replica shirts in a Vietnamese sweatshop to express a preference.
1 would own a Dyson. This one would have the cleanest room.
1 would have an alternative use for the Dyson. He will require the services of the 1 doctor and the 1 fireman.
10 would have venereal disease, but the number is likely to rise rapidly. They could have a 50-aside game of murderball. Or of murderchess. Or murdercanasta. Or murder.
Every ten minutes one of them would fart. He would be the most unpopular member of the village.
87 would claim that the first series of This Life was much better than the second, even though only 13 would have actually seen it.
1 would have a paranoid psychosis. The other 99 would talk about him behind his back.
They would all argue about the cooking arrangements. The 8.3 vegetarians would moan about being hard done by. The 0.3 vegetarian probably has a point.
27 would be drunk or stoned, another 12 would be 'near-drunk' or 'near-stoned'. One would be a dealer. This is how he can afford the Dyson.
1 (yes unbelievably just 1) would ride an executive scooter around the village.
93 will have a great idea for an internet company.
Channel 4 would set up cameras around the village and make a reality TV programme. The guy on the scooter would get voted out by the others every week.

[as written by my friend John Powell]
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Coming back soon...

No actual new content yet, but keep a look out.
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Readers to the rescue!

I need to probe the vast knowledge base that is my readership.

Does anyone know what the music is in that mini-Mars thing advert with the couple snogging on a sofa?
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Flier refinements continue

Okay, here's version two; changes based on various helpful comments.

The image is no longer the tiny original blown up enormously. I traced round the two men on the left, and remade the ground and background.

Better?
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SDoTH

Dave McVey connects Harold Pinter and Tom Hulce in two and wins himself a copy of Lord of Light.
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